


Joe's Trip to the Biggest Ditch in America

by whiteraven1606



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Post-Canon, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteraven1606/pseuds/whiteraven1606
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duncan talks Joe into a road trip to see the Grand Canyon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joe's Trip to the Biggest Ditch in America

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snowynight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowynight/gifts).



****

Duncan settled onto a barstool next to Methos, who was watching Joe fuss with a case of beer at the end of the bar. "Haven't offered to help him?"

Methos snorted and took a drink. "No, he'd just tell me to let him do it."

Duncan nodded and looked around the bar. It'd been a while since he'd be in and it looked the same in a way that Duncan found he liked. He looked back at Joe. "Maybe he needs a vacation."

Methos turned his head to stare at Duncan. "Did that seriously just come out of your mouth?"

"What?" Duncan frowned. "Joe must have some place he'd like to go that he hasn't been."

Methos made a 'hmm' noise and cocked his head. "Hey, Joe!"

Joe levered himself upright. "Get your own refill, you bottomless pit." He caught sight of Duncan. "Mac!" He smiled as he came down the bar to them. "You want a beer?"

Duncan nodded. "Sure, Joe."

Methos shook his head. "Me, I'm a bottomless pit and it's all 'Mac, you want a beer' for him?"

Joe grinned at them both as he sat down two beers. "I just like him better. Sorry, Methos."

Duncan laughed as Methos just snorted and pulled the new beer closer to himself.

"Joe, Mac seems to think you need a vacation."

Joe eyed Duncan as he opened a beer for himself. "Really? What makes you think that?"

Duncan shrugged. It wasn't any one thing, just...a feeling. "I got to thinking about the Grand Canyon yesterday. I haven't seen in a few decades."

Joe nodded. "Haven't been there."

Duncan and Methos exchanged glances.

Methos drew his finger through the condensation on the bar. "You know, Joe, you could go sight seeing with the whelp and I could handle the bar."

Joe scoffed and took a drink of his beer. "You in charge? I'd be out of beer in under a day."

Methos rolled his eyes. "I can run the place. I've run inns before."

Duncan raised his eyebrows at Joe. "What'd you say?"

"Sight see? Anywhere I want?"

"Yes."

Joe rubbed his chin. "You pay."

Duncan grinned. "It'll be fun."

Pointing at Methos, Joe narrowed his eyes. "Do not burn the place down."

Methos grinned. "We'll see."

****

It actually took a week for them to hash out where and how they were going. Joe strapped on his left leg as he mentally wondered at letting himself be talked into this so easily.

Duncan knocked on Joe's bedroom door. "Joe? You almost ready?"

Joe pushed himself upright. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a minute." He grimaced as he waited for his legs to settle down their painful protests and headed out.

Duncan had everything already packed into that ridiculous little RV he'd rented. Joe eyed it as he came out of his house.

"You sure this thing is safe?"

Duncan grinned at him like a kid as he came out the side door. "You'll like it, Joe. It has something they call a pull-out."

Joe rolled his eyes and carefully climbed up into the passenger seat. "I'd be happier if it didn't have stairs."

Duncan climbed in the driver's side. "The entry has a little lift."

Joe craned his neck to look back down the inside of the RV. "Really? How'd you get that?"

"Told them I had a family member that can't climb stairs. That's why the running board on your side moves lower too."

"Uh." Joe rummaged around in the glove box for the manual. "You know how it works?"

"No, but we'll figure it out." Duncan started the RV out from the curb. "It kind of feels like driving a tank."

Joe blinked and forced himself not to ask when Duncan had gotten to drive a tank. He read how to work the lift and the adjustable running board. The slide-out was automatic so they wouldn't have to struggle with it. 

Joe eyed Duncan as they headed onto the highway. "Why do you really want to do this?"

Duncan sighed as he set the cruise. "When I first found out I was Immortal I thought that I'd have time to see the whole world. I'd not been much further than the end of the valley when I thought that. Then I found out I was in the Game, that I probably wouldn't last to see China."

"You did, though."

Duncan shrugged. "Yes. You should get to see what you want Joe. Moving where I do because you were Watching me doesn't really give you time to see what you want."

Joe shoved the manual back into the glove box. "You feel guilty."

"No." Duncan flapped one hand. "Not guilt. I just..." Duncan ran his fingers through his hair for a moment. "I owe you my life, Joe. Why can't I do something for you that I know you'd never do for yourself?"

Joe settled back into his seat. "You don't usually work like this. You worry me."

"I'd worry more about Methos."

Joe snorted and closed his eyes. "Wake me up when we get someplace interesting."

****

Duncan drove as Joe slept. The RV handled well and there was little in the way of side winds. After a few hours he stopped to top off their fuel as well as get some coffee.

Joe stretched as Duncan put a coffee cup into the holder on his side. "Where are we?"

"Little town I didn't get the name of." Duncan held out a package towards Joe. "Do you like jerky?"

Joe took the package and sniffed. "Haven't had any in a while."

Duncan shifted the RV into drive. "Try it. I have some of those cookies you like in the back if you don't want that."

****

Joe chewed on a bite of jerky as he watched the landscape go by. Mac hummed along with the radio for a while as they cruised down the highway. "Do you ever wonder if we're going to make it? As a species, I mean."

Mac quit humming and changed his grip on the steering wheel. "You know, people have always said the world was ending. Snow doesn't fall, world was ending. Rain comes two days earlier than normal, world was ending."

"You have to admit the nuclear bombs might actually manage it."

"Nah." Mac took a sip of his coffee. "Sure, it'd kill scads of people. It'd destroy the world as we know it, but there'd be people left."

"Humans would go on, you mean."

"Pretty much."

Joe nodded. "Look like something out of Judge Dredd, maybe."

"Might."

Joe turned his head to stare at Mac. "You have read Judge Dredd?"

Mac grinned. "You're surprised by that?"

Joe shrugged and took a drink of his coffee. "Little bit. You don't usually keep track of pop culture that closely."

"Richie liked it."

"Oh." Joe leaned his head back against the seat. "Tell me why you decided to protect Methos instead of take his head when he was trying to get you to."

Mac changed lanes to pass a semi-truck as they went up a hill. "Besides being the oldest of us? He looked so scared, Joe. I sometimes wonder how young he was at his first death."

Joe nodded. "He struck your 'he's young and needs protected' streak that's a mile wide?"

Mac snorted as he changed lanes back as they crested the hill. "Well, a bit. At first I thought he must have a handicap in someway because he was hiding in the Watchers, the best place to avoid us if he didn't have a field assignment." Mac eyed a passing sign. "You want to stop at the next rest stop?"

Joe shook his head. "I'm alright for a while, yet. Go on."

Mac shifted his hands on the steering wheel. "When he came and offered his head part of me thought it was the most stupid thing I'd seen in a long time. The rest of me went, well, of course he would come to me."

"Why?"

"He'd been in the Watchers. He could have read up on all of us. Of everyone the Watchers tracked at the point, which Immortal could you go to and not have your head lopped off before I at least listened to the story?"

"Uh." Joe smiled. "I didn't think you had thought that through at all."

Mac shrugged. "He can kill me in a fight. Unless he just gives up, I'm pretty sure he'll be the last."

"He doesn't want that."

"I know." Mac spotted the exit for a museum he'd seen on a billboard. "Let's go see how wrong this museum has their signs."

Joe chuckled as they exited the highway.

****

Joe left Mac urging the curator to get their time period signs redone and hobbled over to an ice cream store next door. He sat down and watched through the window as Mac and the curator talked. He knew Mac was intelligent, yet he sometimes fell into Mac's carefully constructed vacant-headed act. He'd not even given it a thought that Mac had decided that early on that Methos could kill him.

Joe licked his ice cream cone and pulled his phone from his pocket. He sat it on the table and opened up the browser. They were getting enough signal in this little town to get him online. He looked up the RV's rental site and stared at the amount on the listing for the RV model they had.

Shaking his head, Joe put the phone away as Mac came into the ice cream shop.

Mac flirted with the shopgirl as she scooped him a waffle cone. Joe enjoyed watching Mac bend over the counter as he talked.

Joe licked his finger off as Mac settled across from him. "You get her number?"

Mac smiled as he took a swipe of ice cream off his cone. "No. She's got a girlfriend."

Joe nodded and wiped his hands off with a napkin.

Mac lifted his chin towards the museum. "They didn't do too bad for their budget."

Joe leaned back in his chair. "Should I expect they'll get a donation that'll cover fixing the signs?"

Mac grinned. "Now, Joe. You and I both know anonymous donations are supposed to stay that way."

"Uh huh." Joe watched Mac happily eat.

****

Joe settled into the driver's seat. "You're sure we're covered if I crash us?"

Mac came from the back of the RV with a bag of chips. "You won't crash us." He slid into the passenger seat with a grace Joe had always envied.

"You never know." Joe carefully touched the gas and they pulled out of their parking spot. "I might put us off a cliff."

"Well, as long as you do it in a place where there is cell signal so I can call Methos when I revive."

Joe snorted. "He'd just laugh at you."

"Probably. Amanda would laugh and then come pick me up."

Joe fumbled with the cruise control buttons until he was certain it was set and they were going along smoothly. "Maybe. She'd call the Old Man on her way and they'd laugh at you together."

Mac snorted as he put a pillow up between his head and the side of the RV. "They'd kill me for getting you hurt, more like."

Joe frowned at the road. "Why do you all care about me? I'm just another mortal in a long string each of you have known."

Mac glanced at Joe before closing his eyes. "We all love you. Amanda would marry you if she wasn't shacked up with that ex-cop. Methos likes your company more than the beer, don't let him tell you different."

Joe adjusted the tightness of his seatbelt. "And you?"

Mac kept his eyes closed. "You are fierce and loyal to causes that make sense to you. You fight, Joe." Mac's brow furrowed. "And at one time I knew you'd never walk away from me."

Joe frowned. "Except I did when I got mad."

Mac shrugged. "It wasn't like I didn't deserve it."

He rubbed a hand over his face and watched the road for a few miles. "It was a mess all around."

Mac hummed and started to snore. Joe shook his head and kept driving.

****

They stopped for the night at a little RV park tucked against the side of a mountain. Joe sat back and watched Mac get the slide-out in place and fuss with the hookups.

He sent a quick email to Methos to let him know they were fine and played with the lift as Mac walked back to the office to pay for the night. Joe smiled as the lift stopped level with the floor of the RV. Joe stepped off and went to the couch in the slide-out.

Joe sat down with a sigh and rubbed at his thigh.

Mac came in and leaned against the little kitchen counter. "They've got an Italian place that'll deliver straight to our spot."

"Sounds good to me." Joe eyed Mac as he called in an order for dinner. When Mac was done, Joe gestured at the bed in the back. "Who gets the bed?"

Mac sat down next to Joe on the couch. "I thought we'd share. If that's alright with you."

Joe lifted his eyebrows. "Okay. Who are you and where'd you stash Mac?"

Mac laughed. "Really? That out of all of this throws you?"

Joe shrugged. "Not thrown." He patted Mac's arm. "You know of all the Chronicles yours is the least sexually adventurous of any I've read."

Blinking, Mac leaned back. "That gets written about?"

"Well, not the sex itself. Just relationships. In training they use you as an example of either bad record keeping or the straightest person in history. No one is sure which."

Mac snorted. "That's why Methos is always teasing me then." He turned his head to look out the window. "'Tis true I've usually found comfort in a female." He turned back to look at Joe. "It was bad record keeping."

Joe blinked. "Oh." He grinned. "Just a handful in your lifetime, hm?"

Mac shrugged and got up to answer the door as the deliveryman knocked. "A gentlemen doesn't kiss and tell."

"You do with Amanda."

Mac smiled wide at that.

****

"Bloody parking lot."

"I said I'd drop you off and then park."

Joe huffed and kept going. "That RV looks like every other rented RV in this park."

"I am capable of remembering where I parked."

"Uh huh." Joe angled for the ramp instead of dealing with the curb. "I want to sit for a minute before we walk on to the rim."

"Sure." Mac kept pace with him. He turned his head as a group of people went by speaking French. "I've heard a lot of different languages today."

"I've counted fifteen that I could tell apart." Joe dropped onto a bench and rubbed at his thigh. "You?"

"Sounds about right." Mac sat down next to him. "They do have wheelchairs."

"Don't need it." Joe watched a raven hop along the sidewalk towards them. "Brave guy."

Mac looked at the raven and lifted an eyebrow. "Bold. He's fat."

"Well, scraps from a parking lot can do that to you." Joe pushed himself upright. "Come on."

****

Duncan kept his pace down to Joe's level and did his best not to hover. They got to the rim and he kept himself between Joe and the horde of people as Joe navigated the couple of steps down to the outlook.

Joe leaned against the railing. "That is one huge hole."

Duncan mentally snorted as he nodded. "The Old Man would call it a really big ditch."

Joe laughed and leaned into Duncan's side. "It is magnificent."

"Yes, it is." Duncan wrapped his arm around Joe's shoulders and kissed Joe's temple.

****

Joe sat down on his barstool and watched Methos serve like he'd been born to it. "I see you didn't burn it down."

Methos grinned at him. "There's still time." He eyed the door until he could see it was Mac setting off his senses. "He take you everywhere you wanted to go?"

Joe smiled. "Pretty much."

"Even the really big ditch?"

Joe laughed as Mac settled between them across the bar.

"What's so funny?"

Joe pointed at Methos. "He did call it what you thought he would."

Mac grinned as Methos thumped down a beer in front of him. "Good to know I can predict you even a little bit."

Methos rolled his eyes. "We'll see the next time we spar."

Joe left them to their familiar bickering as he headed back into the office to see just how much beer Methos had really used while he'd been gone.

****

**Author's Note:**

> I know it I gloss over parts of the trip and all, but I hope you like it, Snowynight. I'm sorry I didn't know any of the fandoms in your original request.


End file.
